omfg i am actually passing out in ftont of the cpmuter I will be back tomorrow good nught
May 12, 2013
“God, I am so nervous that I actually feel like punching myself on the face. Tomorrow will be one year and still feels like everything just started yesterday, I still feel the same way about him…No. I actually don’t. I love him a lot more…It’s scary because I never thought I could feel it like this and about him. And I am glad it’s him. I don’t want anybody but him.
I am pretty sure it’s cheesy to say that. Geez, I feel like punching myself already. But he makes me really happy, happier than I could wish…I wonder if I can make him as happy and if he is not tired of me. I know I am difficult to handle, never pretended to not be—-God, now I am having glooming thoughts.
Ugh I just wished the hour could pass already.”
do you ever look at someone you used to be good friends with and cringe
☱ (Again, what are these for? I just like sending them to you)
“There’s this…guy? Who looks like Roderich, like a fucking a lot, except he is more smiling -what makes me want to punch his face even more and FOR GOD KNOWS WHY he decided that he will be my friend, somehow.
I can only laugh at his face. Fool.”
☱ ( I want one too, why not?)
“I swear to fucking God, what’s wrong with this fucking family? You would think Arthur has more brain but I am guessing those eyebrows finally managed to create roots inside his brain.
And then, I look back and think that there’s the signature of two of them on the fucking paper where is the law that extinguished my country, my state, and I feel dirty and want to puke. Was for such wuss I lost my everything?
What do they think? That’s too nice to jump from places, to kill themselves? Or is that all a game? ‘Oh wait, we are nations, we can’t actually die so lets kill ourselves, we will be back in a couple of days or weeks anyway’. Yeah, lets not think about these who stay behind. Of course not.
It’s all fun and games because they are sure they are going to be back.
((funny how he turned 500 this year sdjfgsdkfhlas))
god, right, usa is younger than brazil ksdnfkjsd i shall change dat wait
still doesn’t excuse him in gil’s eyes
☱ (you sent me one so why not)
February xx, 2013
“There’s that spoiled boy again. I don’t think he NOTICES what he did, hell, I am SURE he doesn’t! If it was not for the respect I have for Roberto I would take that brat face and rub against the hot tarmac. Before everything I was really at his side, he was making Roberto happy as I haven’t seen in a while, god bless. And I thought this time was going to be different, that it would go smoothly, that my friend would’ve the chance to be happy all of once, finally.
And what the fucking little brat do? KILLS.HIMSELF. Jump of a fucking bridge! What the fuck are you? You are 400+ years old and you act like a fucking kid! You’ve been through wars, devastation and because your fucking life gets a little too difficult you jump from the first damn building? JESUS CHRIST! Greatest power in the world indeed!
He is not better than the others who came before. Roberto accepted him back and if he thinks it’s the best decision then I will not interfere but I don’t trust this Michael kid anymore.
He may make Roberto happy for the rest of their lives and if that’s like this then I am satisfied, I will keep my mouth shut. Or he may - God forbid- disappoint Roberto again and God help him if he does that because not even in the death he will be safe of me.”
May 18, 2013
“Robert sent me a message. He is in the hospital. Again. To be honest, at the moment he entered through my door two days ago - at maximum- I knew it would end like this. I know he is going through some difficulties, specially with Michael’s family problems- and I don’t know if Arthur was close to Roberto, also, but I really really think he should take more care of himself.
I wonder if he thinks he is worthy being taken care of or if he doesn’t care anymore about himself. I…After Julchen disappearing on the air and Tonio being God knows where he is one of the only one who lasts and I something happens to him I don’t know what I would do…I would be so fucking lost.
Maybe he needs a friend who shows more care? I don’t know. I don’t know if I can be like this but I really try my best to not spoil this friendship, that’s exactly why I am going to swallow my pride and be at his marriage even if I don’t like the person he is marrying with— Because it’s about who he likes, his happiness, his moment.
Does he notice it? I don’t think he does.”
XX October, 2012
“So I heard Margaret lost her memories or something of the sort? I feel bad for her - even if we are not as close anymore. But , then, I wonder if it’s right to have resentments about things the other person can’t even remember…
I think that the matter here is that I maybe don’t want to forgive or forget.
Either way, I am hopping she recovers her memories the best way it’s possible and she can be fine.”
Precisely day unknown, 1150
“Well, I know what the Brothers say, we have to be pure and focused and girls aren’t supposed to get near us—-Or we aren’t supposed to be near them, I am not sure.
But then there’s this girl, I think her name is Adirah—Or something of the sort. Doesn’t sound very German, and she seems nice. I mean, as nice as a girl can be, I suppose? But we don’t talk much, she doesn’t seem to mind us much even if she throws some looks at me (nothing different of what the Brothers themselves do, though).”
XX November, 2012
“I met Selina today again, and she seems really interest in what I am. I wonder if I could tell the truth to her in a jokily tone. Would she believe or not? I mean, she already speak some weird things and she makes it sound like she couldn’t be surprised by anything but wouldn’t she, really? Whatever she says, she is still a kid and I am not sure if I want to throw it at a kid.
Hell, I am not even sure if I want her to discover. Okay, I don’t want her to. It will bring questions and if it’s a pain in the ass to the others like me to understand whatever it happens with us, explain it to a human makes everything even more difficult.”
xx of March, 2013
“Today was the kind of weird day. I was singing, just for the sake of it, no reason at all and Eduard appeared there and I thought ‘Hey, why not.’ and invited him to sing with me. Of course I was not expecting him to do so - I know I wouldn’t - but for my surprise he actually came to sing along with me.
I can say for certain it’s really—-entertaining to see this other side of his. I mean, when you are used to a façade of someone and they slowly starts to show you wrong about themselves…Well, it’s interesting.”